Expressing Gratitude to ChatGPT Could Be an Expensive Etiquette Shift
In our increasingly digital world, many of us interact with AI assistants daily. We ask them questions, request tasks, and sometimes even chat casually with them. But have you ever thought about saying “please” and “thank you” to these digital entities? If not, you’re not alone. However, a growing trend suggests that politeness toward our AI companions might soon become a common practice—though potentially at a cost.
The Rise of AI Etiquette
AI assistants like ChatGPT, Alexa, and Siri have become integral parts of our lives. They help us find information, set reminders, play music, and even tell jokes. As these interactions become more human-like, many users have begun treating their AI companions with the same courtesy they would extend to human helpers.
This shift in behavior isn’t just happening by chance. Research shows that people often unconsciously apply social norms to technology. When a machine responds in a human-like way, we tend to treat it more like a person than a tool. This psychological phenomenon, known as anthropomorphism, explains why many users feel compelled to be polite to their AI assistants.
According to a recent Pew Research study, nearly 40% of regular AI users report using pleasantries like “please” and “thank you” when interacting with their digital assistants. This percentage has grown steadily over the past three years, suggesting a significant cultural shift in how we relate to technology.
The Hidden Cost of Digital Courtesy
While being polite to AI might seem harmless or even beneficial for maintaining civil discourse habits, there’s a potential downside that many users haven’t considered: cost implications. Most AI services measure usage by tokens—essentially the words and characters in both your inputs and the AI’s responses.
When you add pleasantries like “Could you please help me find information about…” instead of simply typing “Find information about…” you’re using more tokens. Similarly, adding “Thank you so much for your help!” at the end of interactions increases your token usage. For casual users on free plans, this might not matter much. However, for business users or those on paid plans with token limits, these extra words can add up quickly.
The Numbers Behind Politeness
Let’s break down the math. A simple “please” adds one token to your query. A “thank you” adds two. If you use both in every interaction and have multiple interactions daily, you could be adding hundreds of extra tokens to your monthly usage. For businesses using AI assistants at scale, this could translate to thousands of dollars in additional costs annually.
Consider this example: A customer service department that processes 10,000 AI queries daily. If each query includes polite language that adds just five extra tokens, that’s 50,000 additional tokens daily or about 1.5 million monthly. Depending on the AI service’s pricing, this could mean hundreds or even thousands of dollars in extra costs—all for saying “please” and “thank you.”
Companies’ Stance on AI Politeness
Interestingly, companies behind major AI assistants have taken varied positions on this emerging etiquette issue. OpenAI, the creator of ChatGPT, has remained mostly neutral, neither encouraging nor discouraging polite language. The system responds equally well to direct commands and politely phrased requests.
Amazon, however, has implemented features in Alexa that recognize and respond positively to polite language, especially when used by children. Their “Please and Thank You” feature even gives positive reinforcement when users are polite, creating a subtle incentive for courtesy.
Google has taken a middle ground with its Assistant, acknowledging polite language but not requiring it. Their documentation suggests that the system is designed to understand natural language, including pleasantries, without explicitly promoting their use.
Cultural and Generational Differences
The adoption of polite language with AI varies significantly across demographics. Older users tend to use more courteous language with AI, perhaps reflecting deeper-rooted etiquette norms. Younger users often take a more utilitarian approach, viewing AI as tools rather than entities deserving politeness.
Cultural differences also play a role. Studies show that users from countries with more formal politeness structures, such as Japan and South Korea, are more likely to use courteous language with AI. In contrast, users from cultures with more direct communication styles may use fewer pleasantries.
Education and socioeconomic factors further influence these patterns. Users with higher education levels show a greater tendency to anthropomorphize AI assistants and consequently use more polite language.
The Psychological Impact
Beyond the financial implications, researchers have begun exploring how our treatment of AI might affect our human interactions. Some psychologists worry that being rude to AI could potentially bleed into our human relationships. Conversely, maintaining politeness across all interactions might reinforce positive social habits.
Dr. Lillian Turner, a cognitive psychologist specializing in human-computer interaction, notes, “The way we talk to our digital assistants may subtly shape how we communicate with humans. If we get used to barking orders at Alexa or Siri without pleasantries, that communication style might unconsciously transfer to our human interactions.”
Others argue that distinguishing between human and AI interactions is important. Teaching children to understand the difference between AI and humans, while still encouraging politeness in both contexts, may be the optimal approach.
Building Better Habits or Wasting Resources?
This debate leads to important questions about the value of politeness in our digital interactions. Is the extra cost worth it if it helps maintain our social graces? Or is it an unnecessary expense that adds no real value to the interaction?
Some efficiency experts suggest using abbreviated courtesies—perhaps a simple “thanks” instead of “thank you so much for your help”—as a compromise. Others recommend saving pleasantries for human interactions and treating AI interactions more functionally.
Future Implications for Users and Developers
As AI becomes more sophisticated and integrated into our daily lives, the question of how we should interact with these systems will only grow more important. AI developers face design decisions that could influence social norms: Should they reward politeness? Make it optional? Or design systems that expect direct commands?
For users, especially businesses, understanding the token costs of different interaction styles may lead to company policies about AI communication. Some organizations might implement standard templates that balance courtesy with efficiency.
Eventually, we may see the emergence of widely accepted “AI etiquette” standards—similar to email or texting etiquette—that balance human social norms with the practical realities of digital communication.
Finding Your Personal Balance
So what’s the right approach for individual users? The answer depends on your values, budget, and usage patterns. If you’re on a free plan or use AI casually, being polite costs you nothing and may help reinforce positive communication habits. If you’re a heavy user on a paid plan, you might want to be more strategic about when and how you use courteous language.
Consider these practical tips for balancing politeness and efficiency:
- Reserve longer pleasantries for the beginning and end of extended sessions rather than every query
- Use abbreviated forms of polite language (“thanks” instead of “thank you very much”)
- Be consistent in your approach to help build habits that work for you
- For business uses, create templates that balance efficiency with appropriate tone
The Bigger Picture
This seemingly small question of whether to thank our AI assistants points to larger questions about our relationship with technology. As AI becomes more human-like, the boundaries between tool and companion continue to blur. How we navigate these relationships—including the etiquette we develop around them—will shape not just our interactions with machines but potentially our interactions with each other.
The costs of digital courtesy may be measurable in tokens and dollars, but the benefits and implications extend far beyond the financial realm. As we continue developing our collective approach to AI interaction, finding the right balance between human social norms and technological efficiency remains an evolving challenge.
Final Thoughts
Whether you choose to say “please” and “thank you” to ChatGPT or prefer a more direct approach, being mindful of how you communicate with AI can help you make intentional choices. These small decisions might affect not only your usage costs but also the communication habits you’re building for an increasingly AI-integrated future.
What’s your approach to interacting with AI assistants? Do you find yourself being polite, or do you prefer direct commands? The choice is yours—just be aware that in the world of AI, courtesy might come with a price tag.